Oh Halloween, How I Miss You.

Well, it's time for my favorite holiday.  I have to admit that I wasn't as pumped for it as usual.  I think it's all  the fun crushers out there.  Nothing too scary at school.  Nothing too gory, no weapons, and by no means should parents think of wearing masks to the Halloween parade at school.  It's a safety hazard.  WTF?  Trick-or-treating before the sun goes down.  Trading your candy in at school for stupid ass pencils instead.  What the hell happened to this holiday? 

The best Halloween show was, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."  We used to go trick-or-treating after supper when it was dark.  People would decorate their porches all spooky and play scary music.  Our parents would dress up and have just as much fun as we did.  Scary and candy were not politically incorrect.  We have become entirely too uptight. 

Except in the costume department.  Let me get this straight.  Scary and bloody are no-no's but slutty and trampy are must-have's?  Have you seen what's in the teen and adult sections for costumes, people!  Perhaps we should keep the wee ones at home during this glorious holiday and rename it Hookerween or Halloslutty.  It could be a time for men to stay at home and eyeball all the young women who show up on their doorsteps with boobs and butts hanging out asking for tricks and treats.  Gross.

Back to some wholesome Halloween fun, shall we?  It's the first year that my daughter did not want to trick-or-treat with us.  She is spending the night at her girlfriend's house.   Waaaaahhhhh!  Oh well.  Time does march on and the kids try to march out of the house at every opportunity eventually.  So it was me, my hubby, and our son.  I picked up a carving kit and, of course, the man cub chose the grizzly bear stencil.  The most difficult in the pack!  But momma bear bit her lip and kept carving away, hoping I would not ruin his pumpkin. 

"WHO'S YOUR MOMMA!"  That's what I yelled down to my son after I was finished.  I felt so awesome that I started the next one.












So tomorrow my son will put on his gory costume and I will paint my face like a zombie and we'll go trick-or-treating in the middle of the afternoon.  And if you would like to see these pumpkins lit up on my front porch, you'll have to wait until trick-or-treating is over.  You know, after supper when it's dark.  But, dammit, we're keeping the candy.  Fuck the pencils.