Oh Halloween, How I Miss You.

Well, it's time for my favorite holiday.  I have to admit that I wasn't as pumped for it as usual.  I think it's all  the fun crushers out there.  Nothing too scary at school.  Nothing too gory, no weapons, and by no means should parents think of wearing masks to the Halloween parade at school.  It's a safety hazard.  WTF?  Trick-or-treating before the sun goes down.  Trading your candy in at school for stupid ass pencils instead.  What the hell happened to this holiday? 

The best Halloween show was, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."  We used to go trick-or-treating after supper when it was dark.  People would decorate their porches all spooky and play scary music.  Our parents would dress up and have just as much fun as we did.  Scary and candy were not politically incorrect.  We have become entirely too uptight. 

Except in the costume department.  Let me get this straight.  Scary and bloody are no-no's but slutty and trampy are must-have's?  Have you seen what's in the teen and adult sections for costumes, people!  Perhaps we should keep the wee ones at home during this glorious holiday and rename it Hookerween or Halloslutty.  It could be a time for men to stay at home and eyeball all the young women who show up on their doorsteps with boobs and butts hanging out asking for tricks and treats.  Gross.

Back to some wholesome Halloween fun, shall we?  It's the first year that my daughter did not want to trick-or-treat with us.  She is spending the night at her girlfriend's house.   Waaaaahhhhh!  Oh well.  Time does march on and the kids try to march out of the house at every opportunity eventually.  So it was me, my hubby, and our son.  I picked up a carving kit and, of course, the man cub chose the grizzly bear stencil.  The most difficult in the pack!  But momma bear bit her lip and kept carving away, hoping I would not ruin his pumpkin. 

"WHO'S YOUR MOMMA!"  That's what I yelled down to my son after I was finished.  I felt so awesome that I started the next one.












So tomorrow my son will put on his gory costume and I will paint my face like a zombie and we'll go trick-or-treating in the middle of the afternoon.  And if you would like to see these pumpkins lit up on my front porch, you'll have to wait until trick-or-treating is over.  You know, after supper when it's dark.  But, dammit, we're keeping the candy.  Fuck the pencils.

Webcam Fun

My Son's 8th Birthday...

My son turned eight today.  I told him to stop growing when he was four and he's been defying me ever since.

I insist that my kids put their face in their cake every year and I can't say I've heard any complaining about that request!

Oh, and here's the cake and cupcakes before...

 

I found the gummy eyeballs and the little toothpick signs at Target.  I have to tell you, though, that the eyeballs looked more like boobs when I first put them on.  Thank God I had some red gel food coloring to make them look more like eyes.  I know it's breast cancer awareness month and all but putting gummy boobs on birthday cupcakes for a bunch of 8-year-olds is not the way to promote awareness!

My Daughter's First Kill

My daughter is officially old enough to go hunting with her dad and use her own gun.  Nice job, babe!

More Yoop...

Views of Downtown

I've always been fascinated with certain views of the U.P.  I missed them when I didn't live here.  I'll be posting more but here's the first two.

I'm Still There Somewhere

I had an entire weekend to myself.  No husband.  No kids.  No commitments.  No stress.  It was absolutely wonderful and, no, I didn't miss them.  No gasping in horror from the perfect mom corner or the perfect wife corner please!  It wasn't because I don't love them.  As I've mentioned before, I am seeking balance in my life.  I really needed to have some time to myself to discover whether or not I was still there underneath all the hats I wear everyday.  To my surprise and relief, I was.

I worked on a craft.  I took pictures.  I listened to music.  I drank wine.  I paid more attention to my surroundings and was, "in the moment."  I could smell the leaves and the lake.  I could hear the breeze.  I felt good.  I know I'm sounding a bit cheesy but I could do all these things, why?  Anyone?  Because I SLOWED DOWN.

The weekend came to an end with me being assured that no matter how crazy I get or my life gets, I'm still there somewhere.  And I don't have to wait for that once-a-year chance to enjoy all the things I love about me.  I just have to slow down more often.  It was a baby step in my quest for balance.

And since this is a collection of random thoughts from a random gal, I've decided to add more of my thoughts here.  I wasn't sure what I wanted to accomplish when I first started this blog and quite frankly I was a little afraid to share too much of myself.  But another thing I realized this weekend was that I miss writing.  I figure if writing (or blogging in this case) every once and a while can make me feel a little more balanced, then I'm gonna do it. 

Halloween Has Arrived at My House...

Sweater Pumpkins



The Buffet

I figured since I mentioned buying this yesterday on, "What Brought Me Joy Today," that I should post a picture.  I was thinking I would want to paint it black but now I'm not sure.  Maybe I would tackle staining it instead.  Not sure yet.  I do plan on changing out the knobs.  All I know is it's exactly what I was looking for, it was a bargain and now I don't have to store dishes and pots and pans in a bin in the basement anymore.

What's With That Anyway?

Okay, I said I didn't want my blog to be a bitching journal but I need an outlet tonight. I've been going through a rough patch the past few weeks. Okay, let's be honest. It's a pity party. I just don't feel good. Let's list the reasons why, shall we? This is, after all, my blog. I am grossed out by my body. I'm having a hard time balancing my life. I want to have more fun and feel more joy but most days I feel like I'm drowning in a bunch of to-do lists. Then I feel guilty for feeling this way because I know I have lots to feel joy about. My chores are getting on my nerves. My family is getting on my nerves.

I'm getting on my nerves.

I've been having anxiety about getting older and not experiencing all the things I want to experience. I mean, why am I waiting? Again, let me mention all that to-do crap. It's exhausting being a mother and wife with a full-time job outside the home. I hate that I feel resentful of it all.

Then I look around when I'm at the store or at work. I see a lot of women with that same look in their eye that I see in mine when I look in the mirror. That exhausted, unsatisfied look. Bodies that were way more beautiful back when. Why do women have to sacrifice so much to have it all? Want to get married? Yep. Well know that you'll spend most of your time watching everything bad happen to you as a couple that you see happen in movies and hear about from your already married friends, no matter how much you say you won't. Want to have kids? Yep. But know your body will look like shit when it's all said and done and your hormones will take a complete 180. There's a good chance you won't even recognize yourself (physically and mentally). Personally, I haven't exposed my stomach in public ever since giving birth and I'm crabby more often. Just sayin. You like having sex and going out on dates? Yep. Yeah, well, you can kiss those silly things goodbye when you have a house to clean, a dog to feed, bills to pay and children's needs to tend to. Maybe when you're older and the kids move out. But you don't want to wait til then? Me neither.

And, again, here's where the guilt sets in about venting all of the above. There are many people in this world who have it a lot worse than I. I'm not stupid. I'm whining, but not stupid. I just fear looking back on my life and saying, "Well, I wanted to do that.," or, "Well, I wanted to feel that way." And every day that I sit here and feel sorry for myself and say fuck my life is a day that is wasted. I have to become proactive. One step at a time. Choose joy and fun over cleaning a toilet or saying yes to a sleep-over for the third weekend in a row. That's the only way...I think.