Hold on...

I read this post from the NieNie Dialogues and it got to me.  Powerful and true words. 

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2010/12/note-to-those-of-you-who-hurt-hold-on.html

I have felt that despair in my life, in my own way. Holding on, even when you don't think you can any longer, is possible.

"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you until it seems that you cannot hold on for a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time when the tide will turn."
-Harriet Beecher Stowe

This is one of my favorite quotes to read and remember when I'm going through a tough time and finding it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Please Don't Stop the Music...

Man.  I'm sitting here listening to one of my favorite bands.  Everyone else is asleep.  I'm wondering why a music-loving person like myself stops listening to music.  I know why.  I really shouldn't though.  It's a part of me and it makes me feel good.  I'm thinking of starting another journal here.  I could list songs and singers I'm listening too on a daily or weekly basis.  Hmmmm.

Being Naughty When You Should Be Behaving

What the the hell is up with kids at Christmas time?!  You'd think they'd be watching their every move to be sure they remain on Santa's Nice List but instead, they almost start behaving worse than normal.  Unbelievable.  This is one of those nights when I am jealous of those I know who have decided not to have children or perhaps cannot have children.  LUCKY YOU! 

You can do whatever you want.  You have a little extra money in your pockets (Don't argue!  Yes.  Ya do.  Believe me.).  You can have quiet when you want.  You can play YOUR music loud when you want.  You don't have to worry about trying to please everyone at supper time and know that you'll fail at this no matter what.  You can go on weekend getaways without finding someone to take care of the wee ones.  You don't have to worry about child molesters and homework and school shopping.  I bet you don't have bags under your eyes like I do.  You don't have to balance a job and being a mom and paying for childcare.   

You see, most people don't want to share the ugly dark side of parenting with you.  How your social life will diminish.  How your body will be worn right down and devoid of cute swimsuits.  Every decision revolves around what's best for the kids.  You will sacrifice your needs for theirs, even if it means walking around with 10-year old shirts on with holes in the armpits.  You will stop spending time with your husband because weekdays are for homework and showers and band concerts.  Weekends are for sports and sleepovers and car pooling and grocery shopping (those monsters gotta eat you know!).  You will lose yourself a little each day because so much of your energy goes into everyone else.  When people ask how you're doing, you'll start spewing about what your kids are up to and what the old man is doing and don't realize it until someone asks, "And how are you doing?" 

Ugh.  I know.  I know.  It's Christmas time and I should be sticking to the, "What Brought Me Joy Today," journal I started.  I know!  Balance and taking time for myself are just not things I'm good at.  And when I do it, I feel guilty.  I can hear my girlfriend calling me a martyr as I type this.  I also feel the urge to type a bunch of swear words right now!  Come to think of it, I could use another beer right about now.  The first one didn't quite take the edge off (obviously).

    

First Real Christmas Tree

Big ceramic colored lights and lots of white.

Chicken Cheesesteaks with Peppers

I made these babies last night and hands down it's one of the best sandwiches I've ever tasted.  I found the recipe in the October 2008 Everyday Food magazine. 

(Excuse the bad picture.  I took a picture of the magazine page with my webcam.)

Chicken Cheesesteak Sandwich with Peppers

1 lb. chicken cutlets

2 tbsps vegetable oil

Salt and pepper

1 orange pepper, thinly sliced

1 red pepper, thinly sliced

1 large red onion, halved and thinly sliced

4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced (I just used jarred garlic)

6 oz. sliced provolone cheese

4 soft hoagie rolls

mayonnaise

Heat broiler, with rack set 4 inches from heat.  On a rimmed baking sheet lined with aluminum foil, toss chicken with 1 tablesppon of oil then season with salt and pepper.  Broil, without turning, until chicken is opaque throughout (about 5 to 9 minutes).  Transfer to a cutting board (reserve baking sheet); let cool and thinly slice.  Set chicken aside.

On baking sheet, toss together peppers, onion, and garlic with remaining tablespoon of oil.  Broil, tossing occasionally, until crisp-tender and slightly charred (about 8 to 10 minutes).  Season with salt and pepper.  Add chicken to broiled vegetables, toss, and spread in a single layer.  Top with cheese then broil until cheese is bubbling (30 seconds to one minute).  Scoop out most of the doughy center from the rolls and discard.  Spread rolls with mayonnaise and fill with chicken and vegetables. 



It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Ok, I have started decorating a little prematurely.  Maybe it's the fact that we're in our new house this year.  Yeah, probably...

Damn I love the dollar store.  I think I might add a gold ribbon around the top.

These are a few of my favorite finds.  Love reindeer.

Dollar store again.

Recycled art. Old flattened out pail.  Love it.

It's the reason for the season. 

It's Here!

Let it snow...

Look at that face....



The Family Picture!

So I have a friend who is a rockin artist and photographer and at the end of the summer she took our family picture.  We had never gotten one done so I was very excited!  It turned out great and over the weekend I put it in a frame.

New Cannisters From My Mom

For Cindi...

My plants are growing!  Slowly but surely for the donkey tail but the wandering jew is doing pretty awesome!

This Brought Me Joy Today Too.

I was catching up on my blog porn tonight and was excited to see that The Redneck Mommy posted today.  It was very powerful and made me smile and made me sad all at once.  Check it out:

http://www.theredneckmommy.com/2010/11/01/my-son-has-a-super-power/

God puts us all on earth the way we are for a reason.  Take the time to see why.  Go on.  I dare you.  Enlighten yourself.

Oh Halloween, How I Miss You.

Well, it's time for my favorite holiday.  I have to admit that I wasn't as pumped for it as usual.  I think it's all  the fun crushers out there.  Nothing too scary at school.  Nothing too gory, no weapons, and by no means should parents think of wearing masks to the Halloween parade at school.  It's a safety hazard.  WTF?  Trick-or-treating before the sun goes down.  Trading your candy in at school for stupid ass pencils instead.  What the hell happened to this holiday? 

The best Halloween show was, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."  We used to go trick-or-treating after supper when it was dark.  People would decorate their porches all spooky and play scary music.  Our parents would dress up and have just as much fun as we did.  Scary and candy were not politically incorrect.  We have become entirely too uptight. 

Except in the costume department.  Let me get this straight.  Scary and bloody are no-no's but slutty and trampy are must-have's?  Have you seen what's in the teen and adult sections for costumes, people!  Perhaps we should keep the wee ones at home during this glorious holiday and rename it Hookerween or Halloslutty.  It could be a time for men to stay at home and eyeball all the young women who show up on their doorsteps with boobs and butts hanging out asking for tricks and treats.  Gross.

Back to some wholesome Halloween fun, shall we?  It's the first year that my daughter did not want to trick-or-treat with us.  She is spending the night at her girlfriend's house.   Waaaaahhhhh!  Oh well.  Time does march on and the kids try to march out of the house at every opportunity eventually.  So it was me, my hubby, and our son.  I picked up a carving kit and, of course, the man cub chose the grizzly bear stencil.  The most difficult in the pack!  But momma bear bit her lip and kept carving away, hoping I would not ruin his pumpkin. 

"WHO'S YOUR MOMMA!"  That's what I yelled down to my son after I was finished.  I felt so awesome that I started the next one.












So tomorrow my son will put on his gory costume and I will paint my face like a zombie and we'll go trick-or-treating in the middle of the afternoon.  And if you would like to see these pumpkins lit up on my front porch, you'll have to wait until trick-or-treating is over.  You know, after supper when it's dark.  But, dammit, we're keeping the candy.  Fuck the pencils.

Webcam Fun

My Son's 8th Birthday...

My son turned eight today.  I told him to stop growing when he was four and he's been defying me ever since.

I insist that my kids put their face in their cake every year and I can't say I've heard any complaining about that request!

Oh, and here's the cake and cupcakes before...

 

I found the gummy eyeballs and the little toothpick signs at Target.  I have to tell you, though, that the eyeballs looked more like boobs when I first put them on.  Thank God I had some red gel food coloring to make them look more like eyes.  I know it's breast cancer awareness month and all but putting gummy boobs on birthday cupcakes for a bunch of 8-year-olds is not the way to promote awareness!

My Daughter's First Kill

My daughter is officially old enough to go hunting with her dad and use her own gun.  Nice job, babe!

More Yoop...

Views of Downtown

I've always been fascinated with certain views of the U.P.  I missed them when I didn't live here.  I'll be posting more but here's the first two.

I'm Still There Somewhere

I had an entire weekend to myself.  No husband.  No kids.  No commitments.  No stress.  It was absolutely wonderful and, no, I didn't miss them.  No gasping in horror from the perfect mom corner or the perfect wife corner please!  It wasn't because I don't love them.  As I've mentioned before, I am seeking balance in my life.  I really needed to have some time to myself to discover whether or not I was still there underneath all the hats I wear everyday.  To my surprise and relief, I was.

I worked on a craft.  I took pictures.  I listened to music.  I drank wine.  I paid more attention to my surroundings and was, "in the moment."  I could smell the leaves and the lake.  I could hear the breeze.  I felt good.  I know I'm sounding a bit cheesy but I could do all these things, why?  Anyone?  Because I SLOWED DOWN.

The weekend came to an end with me being assured that no matter how crazy I get or my life gets, I'm still there somewhere.  And I don't have to wait for that once-a-year chance to enjoy all the things I love about me.  I just have to slow down more often.  It was a baby step in my quest for balance.

And since this is a collection of random thoughts from a random gal, I've decided to add more of my thoughts here.  I wasn't sure what I wanted to accomplish when I first started this blog and quite frankly I was a little afraid to share too much of myself.  But another thing I realized this weekend was that I miss writing.  I figure if writing (or blogging in this case) every once and a while can make me feel a little more balanced, then I'm gonna do it. 

Halloween Has Arrived at My House...