Another Birthday, Girl-Woman

My daughter is 17 today.  I know I sound like every parent but where DOES the time go?  I looked through pictures this morning to put a Facebook collage together and it was like watching a movie of the last 17 years in fast forward.  It's all good though.  Life doesn't stop.

She's so close to starting a new big chapter of her life and she's chomping at the bit.  I remember it well; I was the same way.  I spent lots of time when I was her age dreaming of life after high school.

I wonder what her wish was today.  I hope she gets all her wishes.  I hope she doesn't spend all of her time waiting for the next chapter but instead lives in the moment...every moment.

Dealing with Death

It's been a rocky couple of weeks here.  My daughter had two friends die within a week of each other and both tragically.  One in a snowboarding accident and the other shot himself.  I've had to deal with tragic death in my life but never were two so close together.  It has sucked as a parent to watch her have to deal with it.  Young people think they are invincible.  I heard her one friend question faith as a result and that saying that it was just that person's time to go.  I guess I can't blame her or my daughter for thinking that way.

On the other hand, it was heartwarming to watch my daughter and her friends rally together.  Keeping each other company and being extra kind to each other.  They did exactly the right thing and really the only thing they could do.  Just love each other.

I told my daughter that from here on out it's important to live the life that her two friends won't be able to on earth.  Be grateful and keep them in mind when she's doing something fun, when she reaches a goal, when she hits a milestone, when she finishes a chapter.  I hope she listened.

In Search of Quality

I think it's my age that brings me to this place.  One of questions, deep thought and self-evaluation.  I've been hungry for change for a some time now.  The first big change was starting a new job.  It's been a good change for me.  I feel like as a result I'm in a better place with my husband and kids.  I don't like my new job as much but the job I loved before doesn't exist anymore.  The end of an era for me and some days, I admit, I mourn it.  But I have to move forward.  It's what we have to do in life.

I'm hungry for change but more importantly, I'm craving quality.  Quality marriage, quality relationships with my kids and family, quality friendships, quality me.  I'm moving closer to letting go of things in the past that I allow to define my present.  I'm taking better care of myself physically and emotionally.  My husband and I are putting more effort into our relationship.  Often times, after 21 years together, comfort has taken the place of effort which always leads to ignored feelings and needs.

I also want quality friendships in my life.  I don't have a long list of friends.  And as scary as this is to admit, I have to wonder if some people I call friends value the friendship as much as I do.  I always try to look at myself and ask if I'm doing something wrong and there are a some things I could improve upon.  I'm guarded.  I don't like conflict.  I don't like being vulnerable.  All things that could complicate a friendship.

Another thing to consider is that some people will float in and out of your life.  Sometimes it's for a good reason.  Sometimes there's no explanation.  I have had friends who I've lost contact with but it wasn't because we ended on a bad note.  It was just because our lives took different turns.  Maybe we grew out of the relationship.  So I guess that's what I'm looking at now.  Seeing which friendships are still worth investing in and which ones just need to be gently let go of.  It's scary.  Thinking that you're the one that's hanging on tighter than the other.

Anitque Store Finds

Every once and a while we make an antique store run to see if anything strikes our fancy.  Our latest trip landed us these finds:

Pictures brought to you by my new phone!  It's been almost seven years since I last picked out a new cell phone.  My last one was a hand-me-down FROM MY DAUGHTER!!!  How does that happen?  She should be getting my hand-me-downs.  Ah well.  I'm in cell phone heaven and my family is tired of hearing about all the things that little handful of technology can do but too bad!