Grama

It's been three months since my grama died from liver cancer.  The news that she had cancer came so quick and just as quickly she was gone.  It's such an eerie and empty feeling when you realize that the grandmother who's been there your whole life is now gone.  She was truly the matriarch of the family.  Always planning, always organizing, never forgetting anyone.  I'm ashamed to admit that I sometimes forgot her.  Letting my busy schedule keep me from making a little more time for her.  I depended on her to call and leave a message reminding me that it had been months since I visited.  It's really true when they say don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today...

I am fortunate to have grandparents in my life.  They have supported me and taught me in ways my parents either couldn't or didn't.  No disrespect to my parents.  I just mean grandparents are from a different generation and they introduce a different way of thinking and doing things to their grandkids. 

My grama was always thrifty, always creative, always resourceful.  She was recycling way before it was such a politically and socially correct thing to do.  She taught me cooking and cleaning and prayer and kindness.  Ask all of us grandkids and we will all tell you she was the best back tickler.  Whenever we were sick or couldn't sleep, she would run her fingers across our backs to soothe us to sleep.  She made the best homemade applesauce and spaghetti and stuffing.  Her house was spotless.  She worked her ass off.  She was devoted to her church and to the Lord.  I don't worry about her now because I know she's in heaven where she always believed she would go.  We joke that upon walking through the gates, she was probably already planning a party. 

She was always friendly and had a hard time saying anything negative about anyone.  She was forever putting the needs and wants (and sometimes demands) of others ahead of her own.  Family was most important to her.  Even in her last days, she was more concerned about my grampa's well-being than her's.  More concerned about whether or not my son wanted ice cream than the pain she was feeling.  She was one hell of a person here on earth.  She was definitely the glue that held all of us together.  Our lives have been enriched because of her and will be very different without her.  I think of her almost every day.  Lots of things I do remind of her.  She is a testament to the influence one person has on a whole bunch of others.  She will be missed.  Love you gram.