I read this post from the NieNie Dialogues and it got to me. Powerful and true words.
http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2010/12/note-to-those-of-you-who-hurt-hold-on.html
I have felt that despair in my life, in my own way. Holding on, even when you don't think you can any longer, is possible.
"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you until it seems that you cannot hold on for a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time when the tide will turn."
-Harriet Beecher Stowe
This is one of my favorite quotes to read and remember when I'm going through a tough time and finding it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
December 25, 2010
December 20, 2010
Please Don't Stop the Music...
Man. I'm sitting here listening to one of my favorite bands. Everyone else is asleep. I'm wondering why a music-loving person like myself stops listening to music. I know why. I really shouldn't though. It's a part of me and it makes me feel good. I'm thinking of starting another journal here. I could list songs and singers I'm listening too on a daily or weekly basis. Hmmmm.
December 16, 2010
Being Naughty When You Should Be Behaving
What the the hell is up with kids at Christmas time?! You'd think they'd be watching their every move to be sure they remain on Santa's Nice List but instead, they almost start behaving worse than normal. Unbelievable. This is one of those nights when I am jealous of those I know who have decided not to have children or perhaps cannot have children. LUCKY YOU!
You can do whatever you want. You have a little extra money in your pockets (Don't argue! Yes. Ya do. Believe me.). You can have quiet when you want. You can play YOUR music loud when you want. You don't have to worry about trying to please everyone at supper time and know that you'll fail at this no matter what. You can go on weekend getaways without finding someone to take care of the wee ones. You don't have to worry about child molesters and homework and school shopping. I bet you don't have bags under your eyes like I do. You don't have to balance a job and being a mom and paying for childcare.
You see, most people don't want to share the ugly dark side of parenting with you. How your social life will diminish. How your body will be worn right down and devoid of cute swimsuits. Every decision revolves around what's best for the kids. You will sacrifice your needs for theirs, even if it means walking around with 10-year old shirts on with holes in the armpits. You will stop spending time with your husband because weekdays are for homework and showers and band concerts. Weekends are for sports and sleepovers and car pooling and grocery shopping (those monsters gotta eat you know!). You will lose yourself a little each day because so much of your energy goes into everyone else. When people ask how you're doing, you'll start spewing about what your kids are up to and what the old man is doing and don't realize it until someone asks, "And how are you doing?"
Ugh. I know. I know. It's Christmas time and I should be sticking to the, "What Brought Me Joy Today," journal I started. I know! Balance and taking time for myself are just not things I'm good at. And when I do it, I feel guilty. I can hear my girlfriend calling me a martyr as I type this. I also feel the urge to type a bunch of swear words right now! Come to think of it, I could use another beer right about now. The first one didn't quite take the edge off (obviously).
You can do whatever you want. You have a little extra money in your pockets (Don't argue! Yes. Ya do. Believe me.). You can have quiet when you want. You can play YOUR music loud when you want. You don't have to worry about trying to please everyone at supper time and know that you'll fail at this no matter what. You can go on weekend getaways without finding someone to take care of the wee ones. You don't have to worry about child molesters and homework and school shopping. I bet you don't have bags under your eyes like I do. You don't have to balance a job and being a mom and paying for childcare.
You see, most people don't want to share the ugly dark side of parenting with you. How your social life will diminish. How your body will be worn right down and devoid of cute swimsuits. Every decision revolves around what's best for the kids. You will sacrifice your needs for theirs, even if it means walking around with 10-year old shirts on with holes in the armpits. You will stop spending time with your husband because weekdays are for homework and showers and band concerts. Weekends are for sports and sleepovers and car pooling and grocery shopping (those monsters gotta eat you know!). You will lose yourself a little each day because so much of your energy goes into everyone else. When people ask how you're doing, you'll start spewing about what your kids are up to and what the old man is doing and don't realize it until someone asks, "And how are you doing?"
Ugh. I know. I know. It's Christmas time and I should be sticking to the, "What Brought Me Joy Today," journal I started. I know! Balance and taking time for myself are just not things I'm good at. And when I do it, I feel guilty. I can hear my girlfriend calling me a martyr as I type this. I also feel the urge to type a bunch of swear words right now! Come to think of it, I could use another beer right about now. The first one didn't quite take the edge off (obviously).
December 5, 2010
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